The Secret of life

As Paulo Coelho once said, “The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” Failure is the greatest fear of mankind. This fear often arrests our chances of growth and stagnates our true potential. Unfortunately, a student’s life revolves around pressure points that constantly reminds them not to fail in life. The trauma of this constant stress can earnestly impact your whole life. To eradicate this fear you should stop equating exam failure with failure in life. Don’t let anybody tell you the opposite. In fact, succeeding and failing in life are very relative, abstract constructs that cannot be described with definitions. As a vice man once told, a single sheet of paper doesn’t decide your future. Only you get to decide your future.

Is it a permanent?

Failure is still a concept filled with taboo and is often viewed as some dark dangerous dungeons where there is no escape. Is it really so? The answer is a big NO. Vulnerability is real, but your strength is more real. It is true that a failure has the potential to shake your life and make you feel worthless. This feeling of insufficiency can often arise from the feeling that you have let your dear ones down. But it is essential for you to realise that failure is as much a normal reality as success is. It should not be treated as a grave irreversible state. In a world of competitive race, do not live a mediocre life by succumbing to societal standards of success. Don’t let these standards consume you. If you confront failure, accept it, try again and most importantly, do not let others dictate your worth. Maybe this failure is meant to kick-start your new soulful life.

Is it absolute?

Failure is a reality, in fact, a learning experience that can happen to anybody at any point. Circumstantial reasons or the inability to retrieve memory during the definite hours of exam can lead to unprecedented failures. Primarily, it doesn’t mean that the game is over forever. Failing once doesn’t indicate that you are eternally trapped in it. Remember the mantra, exams ≠ life. Even if it may be seem a little difficult at first, it is important that you leave the past in the past and intelligently conquer the next possible chance. It is as simple as that. Somebody who knows the bitterness of gooseberry is likely to enjoy the sweetness that comes thereafter. It is okay to be Not Okay. The primary step in overcoming a failure is to accept the emotion that you feel and live through it. Hiding, concealing or suppressing your disappointment can only further your pain. It can effect your mental health and lead to further damage. So never feel bad for the way you feel. It is quite healthy to live through pain, it is only unhealthy if you hold on to it longer. Nobody can determine when you should move on, except you. Take your own time to process the pain and figure out a way in which you can slowly move past it. Stop obsessing and move on. One of the best ways of moving on is through arresting your negative thoughts and engaging in/with things you love. After a period of processing, it is mandatory that you should stop pondering over the things from the past. OBSESSIVE RUMINATION over things that pain you HAS TO STOP. Idle mind is the birthplace of excessive negative thoughts. So stop overthinking and reliving the pain. Rather than letting your mind free, engage in activities that you enjoy. Activities doesn’t imply huge tasks; it could be listening to music, watching movies, talking with people that you love etc. Mindful meditation and journaling your thoughts are widely used techniques in arresting irrational thoughts. The present needs you more than your past.

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